Poem for July 9

July 9, 2012 § Leave a comment

I AM ON MDMA LET ME GIVE YOU LIFE ADVICE

my thought process is an art form
and self-love is a mental state
I can only reach through severe confusion.
out of necessity I have diagnosed myself
with emotional attention deficit disorder
and to survive I have had to train myself
to feel anxiety in all situations,
making me unable to distinguish
feeling anxious from feeling normal.
‘what would my ass do,’ I taught myself to think.
my ass would feel shy when being observed
and would say things like ‘calm down, sit down’ then cry.
the word ‘shitty’ often roams around
in my head, what gets me out of my head
is actively avoiding conversations with shitty people,
who have dissociated themselves from willpower
and are excuse-driven. I am willpower-driven
and mdma-driven also. I will address all my issues
in my head, which is invisible, then do mdma
and read the most emotional emails in my email inbox.

-Guillaume Morissette, from  I Am My Own Betrayal (Maison Kasini, 2012)

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